Updated: Dec 13, 2021
God, do you have a spouse for me? Where is my Adam? Where is my Eve? Where is my life partner? Is it your will for me to be married or remain single? Do you still hear me? These are questions many men and women ask God as they wait for their mate. The truth is, God is concerned about every detail concerning your future spouse. Often, the waiting period, whether long or short, can leave you feeling lonely and forgotten, but God has not forgotten about your desire to be married and to have a mate. The waiting period is a time of intimacy with God, personal and spiritual growth, developing trust in Him, pursuing your life calling and purpose, healing from past pain and trauma, getting to know other Christian men and women, and praying for your spouse. Here are a few things you may want to do while you wait.
1 . Get to know God intimately
Who you decide to marry and when you marry all matters to God. He desires you to know Him intimately. When you receive the gift of a mate, not only will you appreciate your mate (the gift), but also the giver of the gift (God.) James 1:17 states, “every good and perfect gift is
from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like
shifting shadows.” All good gifts come from God. Before He blesses you, He wants you to know Him intimately. Why? So, you can care and cherish the gift and glorify the giver of the gift. If a grandmother who loves her grandchild dearly gives her grandchild an antique gold watch, that child will most likely value the gift and value the giver of the gift, the grandmother. When God blesses you with a spouse, will you love and respect your spouse, will you pray for them, and will you sacrifice for them? Your future spouse is a reflection and extension of the Creator. God has given you a gift, and His gift represents His workmanship created according to His image and likeness. As you patiently wait on your spouse, develop an intimate relationship with Christ by
Meditating on God’s word
Cultivating a relationship with Holy Spirit
Developing relationships with other believers
2. Trust God’s promise of sending a spouse
Trust that God will fulfill His promise of connecting you with a Godly spouse in His perfect timing. Isaiah 55:11 states, “So shall my word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.” If God promised you that you will be married, He is faithful to keep that promise to its full completion because that is His nature and character. As Christians, this is the confidence that we have in knowing God and knowing His word. If you are doubtful that you may never meet your spouse, pray and ask God to increase your faith to believe His word. It is only a matter of time that God will manifest His promises in your life. Whether the wait is few days or a few years, trust God that He will fulfill his promise in your life. While you wait, God is growing your patience and trust in Him.
3. Identify your gifts, calling, and purpose on your life
As you wait on your spouse, take inventory of your passions, likes and dislikes, things you aren’t
drawn to, the relationship in your life, and your interests as a child and adult. As you uncover who God has uniquely designed you to be, you will discover your purpose and calling in your life. Once you have taken self-inventory, take a bold step and do what you believe God has called you to do–whether it is starting a business, a new job, a new career, joining an online community, starting a new hobby, taking a course, or starting school. It is in those instances that you may meet someone who has similar interests as you. For example, my husband and I were leaders at our Christians at Law group at our school (he was the President and I was the Vice President), where we had many opportunities to work together. Our time together grew into an attraction, then courting, then marriage! When you seek after God and fulfill your unique purpose, you will attract others around you who do the same, such as your spouse.
4. Let God heal you of past trauma and pain
While waiting on your spouse, take inventory of areas in your life where you might need healing. These are painful areas in your life where you feel hurt, sad, or ashamed. These
areas include painful experiences such as parents divorcing, death of a family member, traumatic events, failures, or addictions just to list a few. Oftentimes, these underlying issue if not addressed may manifest in marriages as insecurities, defensiveness, anger, unforgiveness, addiction, or cheating. Let God do the healing process in your life. Your spouse may help you on your journey to complete healing and restoration, however make an effort while you are single to let God heal you of those broken places. Seek christian advice and counseling. Rely on the Word of God and Holy Spirit. Let God restore you and heal you so that you may relate to your spouse openly and freely.
5. Get to know Christian men or women
While you wait on your spouse, branch out and get to know Christian men or women, including your local church, a community service event, an online event, a networking event, the park, the library, or a coffee shop. There is no limitation to how God may choose to connect you to your spouse. Know the type of man or woman you desire to marry. Branch out of your comfort zone and get to know those around you. Often, the best marriages and relationships are founded on true friendship where couples bond around similar interests and hobbies. Do not be afraid to introduce yourself to other men or women and start a conversation. Put yourself in a position to be found by your spouse by creating God-centered connections and God-honoring conversations. If you struggle to initiate conversations with Christian men—
Start initiating conversations in a group setting
Look for opportunities where people are relaxed and open for conversations
Ask the Holy Spirt to help you
Encourage yourself (Self-Talk
6. Pray for your future spouse
Pray for your future spouse while you wait. Pray that he or she loves God and loves you. Pray that he or she is a man or woman after God's heart. Pray that you will enjoy your life together. Pray for your intimacy as a couple. Pray for your career and future endeavors. Pray for your kingdom assignment together. Pray as God leads you and as your heart desires. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 states, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." It is God's will for us to pray and to pray continually. As you develop a habit of prayer while waiting on your spouse, you will likely pray for your spouse when you are married. Remember, you and your future spouse are imperfect people relying on a perfect God.
Let us Pray-
Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank you for every good and perfect gift that you have given me because it all comes from you. As I wait patiently for your gift of a spouse allow me to know you intimately. Open my heart to receive all that you have for me. Heal me in my places of pain and trauma. Help me to learn how to value all your gifts. I praise and honor you for being such a good Father. How great is your love for me that you desire to give me good and perfect gifts. Thank you for your continual love, mercy, and grace towards me. Help me to be loving, merciful, and gracious to those around me, so that when I receive my spouse, I will show them love, mercy and grace.
In Jesus name, Amen.